An Evil Fleet of Sand Skimmers

003. The Vanguard

Playdate: Saturday 10/23/2010
Players: All (I kid you not)
Characters began level 2 (1001 XP)

Zaine continues to stretch her limited credit and hires the adventurers to retrieve a lost treasure that may or may not exist. She’s doing this to curry favor with another trading house, which has information that’s of great interest to her father’s trading house. The lost treasure is the property of yet another (extinct) house to which the party of the second part has acquired assets…ugh, does anyone else feel like they did when they tried to read the crawl at the beginning of Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace? Fortunately, things soon devolved to violence.

For the gory details, click here.


Zayne had more work for us. We had to go to a place that was very far away. It was going to take a long time to get there. So we had to buy equipment for the trip. I got a new sword. I don’t like the Pick Axe Grimgutt give me anymore. I think it has curse on it. It always misses. So I think the new sword is better. I hear great warriors name their weapons. I will call it Vera.

Then they tell me I need more equipment. I don’t understand. I have sword and my armor that makes me strong and drum Bynn gave me. But they say I need other things. I buy. I think maybe they are right. They all buy lots of things so I buy same things. Now I have everything I need.

Then we meet giant man at Inn. His name is Ganath. Everyone like him. Say he so big. I big too. I try to be bigger by stretching up for a long time, at least 5 minutes, but nothing happen. I still not as big as giant man. He say he from ‘Pit’ too but he smells clean. Bynn says he take head of hafling when he fight. I wanted to see the head but he says he does not have it. That is sad. Maybe someone stole it from him. And he’s smart, not like others from ‘Pit’. I know smartest people in all Athas. Bynn thinks it be a good idea for him to come with us. Bynn smart so it must be good idea. I tried to think of that too, if it was a good idea, but then my head started to hurt so I stopped. But he sounds like a good warrior who takes his enemies heads. I hope he will let me take their teeth before he takes their heads.

Then we start on our trip. We meet man named Blackhearted Brom. I can’t see his heart so I don’t know what color it is. Usually they are red, maybe he is sick. He was going to travel in sand ships while we walked. My master used to make me do the same thing. Always “Walk Zar you miserable excuse for a ‘Dragonborn’! Walk faster or taste the lash of the whip!” I didn’t like that. He doesn’t yell at me anymore. What was I saying? I don’t know, I forgot now. Anyway so we had to walk a long time in the sand. It was boring and I thought I would die because I was so bored, but then lizards came from ground and then I wasn’t bored. I was happy. Now we could kill something. There were a lot of lizards. I know because I counted more that three. But we killed them and I had more teeth. My necklace is getting heavy now. It has a LOT more than three now.

But then it got boring again because he had to walk for a long time again. Travelling is boring. Things should attack more, then we would not be bored. Everyone looked sad and tired. They were probably tired from the walking and sad because there was nothing to kill for a LONG time.

Then my head started to hurt and I wasn’t even thinking. But then it was really strange because everyone turned into three people and when they talked I could see their lips move but they didn’t say anything and then they started to spin around and around really fast and then sometimes they would turn into little furry animals with purple fur and then a bird landed on my head and tore open my skull where he made a nest and had more than three eggs and then the eggs hatched and big spiders came out of the eggs and crawled inside my nose because they wanted a place to have a party and then we ate rocks while dancing in a castle. Then my head stopped hurting and everything disappeared. It was very confusing.

I think Liams’, the one who sings, head hurt too. He was saying funny things and acting like he was not smart. For a little while he was not as smart as me. I didn’t know what to do. It scared me a little.

But we still had a lot of walking to do and we walked a LOT. Then we saw a place that had funny green things growing out of the ground and a lot of water. I think they call it an ocean. The ocean was pretty and so were the green things growing out of the ground. But the best part about the place was there were people to kill. They were hiding behind the green things that grew out of the ground. We killed them all except the little one. He ran away. I think I scared him when I killed his friends. Ganath fight good. Almost as good as me. I will show him better. I hope we find more places like that. It was pretty, we had lots for drink and we got attacked. It was beautiful.

Then we left and we walked a long time again. Liam, the one that sings, still didn’t look so good. I thought he was going to die but he didn’t. That is good because he would not die in battle and that is a bad way to die. Only dying in battle is a good way to die. I will tell the others that if they ever are going to die of not being in battle I will drive my sword through their hearts that way it will look like they have died in battle. Then people will say great things about them and they will be remembered for having died well. But he did not die so I did not have to drive my sword into his heart.

But Liams’, the one who sings, brain was still broken. We meet some elf-people who sell things. Liam, the one who sings, buy some stuff from them but everyone yell at him because he was paying too much for it. For once it wasn’t me they were yelling at for paying too much for things. I feel sorry for him. I know money is hard to understand. There is a lot of counting with money. I don’t like counting.

Then we got close to little city and more people attacked us. Everyone say it was ambush. I think ambush is like attack, so we ambush them back and kill them all. More teeth. I was very happy. I need a lot of help counting my teeth. Then I bathe in the blood of them. I forgot to do it last time. When you in the sun a lot it gets dry fast and comes off fast. That makes me sad.

Then Binh find paper with writing on it from one of the people we killed. He said it had our names on it. I think we are famous now. Maybe we shouldn’t have killed them. Maybe they were just fans. But it was ok because it had been a little while since we killed anything so it was good we killed them. We can always get more fans.

Finally we get to little city that we were going to. At first they shoot arrows at me. It hurt. I don’t like arrows. Then they say ‘why you covered in blood?’. They not smart people. They don’t know about bathing in the blood of your enemies. People in cities are funny. They don’t know anything. Then everyone talk to them and say I sick from sun but I feel ok. Liams’, the one who sings, brain was still broken and when he sings his songs they were different. His songs usually me feel good but they not good when his brain broken.

Then we get to stay in inn. They give me a room and tell me I can’t sleep on floor by door of inn. I don’t know why I have to have room, floor was comfortable. Then we are going to go to dinner by a clean mans’ house so they tell me I have to take bath. This silly because it not even my birthday! Maybe now I don’t have to take a bath on my birthday. I’ll ask Bynn, he’ll know. He’s smart. Then we go to dinner.

003. The Vanguard

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